


The "Zippy" Rant

by woolydemon



Series: Zipper Writings [2]
Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Nothing much actually happens here tbh, Sparklings, Transformer Sparklings, its basically just a slice of life sorta thing, these dudes just straight up chilling for an entire fic, with a bit of a flashback in the middle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woolydemon/pseuds/woolydemon
Summary: It's another funky blurrbee sparkling shenanigan I don't know what to tell you-
Relationships: Blurr/Bumblebee
Series: Zipper Writings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955668
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	The "Zippy" Rant

**Author's Note:**

> So a few things: 
> 
> 1) I'm gonna reference a bit from my previous fic about Zipper, but I don't think it's super necessary to read the first one before this (All you need to know is Zipper is a blurrbee sparkling & they're a little weird)
> 
> 2) Zipper at this point is like a teen I guess?? (Around 14-15 years old at least)
> 
> 3) They were born in a somewhat similar way that Sari was, which I'm pretty sure isn't quite the standard way bots are made, but that's what's happened here. (I'm sticking w/ this because I really don't want to dive into the other headcanons for how Cybertronians are made-)
> 
> 4) Reminder: Zipper goes by they/them pronouns! They are nonbinary cause Hasbro has no power over me

The sound of young bots talking to each other combined very un-melodically with Zipper's pedes clanging against the surface of the campus grounds.

Zipper nearly face-planted as they tried to dodge one of the many Autobot students still getting ready to head home. Clearly their speed is just something the other robots can't keep up with- Zipper even caused an unsuspecting mech to get spun around like a weather vane from just how fast they ran past him.

The mint green bot slid under a much larger classmate (a maneuver picked up from when they first played baseball) in their pursuit of the space bridge home.

They distantly heard that bot call out, "See you later Zipper!”

As they spun around to face the classmate while simultaneously leaping into the bridge, they shouted, "Right back at cha' Dynamo and/or Whistler! _It's-a-little-hard-to-tell-from-here!"_

In the blink of an eye, Zipper was on Earth again, specifically on top of Sumdac tower. That's where the only available space bridge was on this planet.

They nearly slammed back-first into the roof's surface if they weren't caught by a massive pair of dark green arms.

"Zipper, you gotta stop entering space bridges backwards like that. I'm not always going to be here to catch you…" huffed out an exasperated Bulkhead.

"I'm not quite sure how accurate that would be Uncle Bulkhead, as you are practically up here on a daily basis checking up on the space bridge- like some sort of neeerd!!" They followed that up by sticking their tongue out and teasingly poking at his face.

Bulkhead shook his helm while chuckling, "Well it's easy to tell you're Bumblebee's sparkling I guess."

He set them down and waved goodbye as the little bot dashed down numerous stories of stairs, out the door of the front office. From there they transformed into their alt mode, a small racecar, and zoomed through the streets of New Detroit.

In a short amount of time, mainly due to violating a couple driving laws (don't tell Uncle Bossbot-) the sight of the Earth Autobot base showed up in their line of vision.

They jumped up and transformed back into bot mode, pulling off a dramatic landing pose for an audience of no one.

Silently peaking through one of the broken windows, they found whom they dubbed parental unit #1: Blurr. The second one must be on patrol duty at the moment.

They grinned as they slipped inside the base.

"Parental unit número uno!! I'm baaaack!"

Blurr perked up at the familiar voice of his sparkling, who had launched themselves into a hug with him.

"Zipper, welcome back on Earth! How was your school day- there wasn't any issues I presume? If so, do not hesitate to let us know so that we may be able to assist in any way we can."

They stopped nuzzling their face against their father's chest to look him in the eyes, "Going to be honest: real boring! Nothing new that I didn't already know about."

Blurr shrugged, "I'm fairly certain you would be considered a prodigy, you've always been a slight bit more brighter than the average sparkling, but at the very least it's still good to know that you aren't struggling in school."

"Yeah, but I just don't really care about that Cybertron junk anyway- I'd rather be on Earth all the time, dad."

"Well... I'm afraid it's necessary for you to get a formal Cybertronian education now after all these stellar cycles- I'm not so sure how the Earth education system would be able to handle a bot like you in those higher learning programs… they're called 'universities' right? No, no, 'high schools'. Actually I may be referring to both terms. Regardless it may be too much for the humans to completely revise their whole systems to incorporate Cybertronian life at this point of time."

"Eh, maybe. I still miss hanging around here..."

Zipper pulled away from the hug to hop onto the giant concrete structure that served as a couch.

Blurr tapped his pede against the floor as he looked in his progeny's direction.

"I... could recount an event from your sparkling-hood if that would cheer you up?"

Zipper shifted in their seat, "One of my baby stories huh? If it's as entertaining as my first steps... ok! I'm interested!"

They patted an empty spot beside them as an invitation for their father to join them, which he did in a split second.

Blurr raised a servo to stroke his chin "Now, where should I start…"

…

The two conjunx crashed next to each other on the sofa after a long day of trying to keep their sparkling in one location for more than two cycles.

Little Zipper kept managing to slip out of the base and race all around New Detroit, much to their progenitors' combined dismay. They still aren't even able to speak yet.

"Slag… it's like…. they inherited a bit of your stamina…." Bumblebee wheezed between breaths.

Blurr nodded, "Thank goodness that it seems to not be _quite_ at my level of endurance or I would have failed to catch them…"

"Hey, I'd say if they trained a bit, they could easily beat you in a marathon, Zippy."

It was weird to see Blurr so exhausted. Sure, after all these years Bee was bound to see his lover be tired, but that was still a rarity. He just always seems to have an impossible amount of energy in his body.

But here he was, splayed out on the couch in a manner very unlike his usual polite, legs-crossed pose. Despite that, he still bounced one of his legs in that reclined position, as some of his energy just never seems to burn away.

Blurr opened his optics to notice his conjunx staring at him. He smirked.

"I surely must look rather unseemly at this very moment, right?"

"Just a bit. You still look real hot though."

Blurr almost choked on his laughter. "I'm- _pfft_ \- I'm flattered you think that Honeybee."

The blue bot leaned in to lay his helm on Bee's shoulder, Bumblebee laying his helm on top of his in return. He made the move to grasp the other's servo, which Blurr gladly accepted.

It's hard to imagine that both weren't huge fans of taking a moment to just enjoy silence, but having each other and not to mention a sparkling just as noisy as Bee himself, made them appreciate still moments all that much more.

Speaking of rowdy sparklings, that brief period of shared peace had been cut short with a "BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!!"

They both turned their helms to their sparkling. They were trapped within the confines of a "play pen" the autobots built, hopping up and down in a desperate attempt to get out.

Blurr sighed. He made his way over to the beeping baby and slowly lifted them out.

Rocking Zipper gently, the lithe mech went back to Bee's side and snuggled up against him.

Bee couldn't help but to poke the sparkling's olfactory sensor with a digit. The giggle-like sound (which was also beeping) and the open mouthed smile on their face suggested they were fond of it.

"It's a bit weird how they can run all over the city like that but still can't talk."

"...yes it most certainly is. But I suppose it's nothing to worry about if Ratchet hasn't mentioned any major concern for it."

"I'm guessing you're still worried about it?"

"You know the answer to that, Bumblebee."

Bee pursed his lips. "I'm sure if Ratchet's not making a fuss about things for once, it's actually fine for real. He wouldn't really brush off actual problems like that y'know?"

Blurr hummed in response but kept his optics on Zipper with a furrowed brow. That's it, Bee needs to get his mind off of this immediately.

"What if they're just the opposite of us? That'd kinda be funny."

"...And what are you exactly referring to by 'opposite of us'?"

"I mean... y'know…"

Bumblebee started to gesture as he thought about the best way to describe it, "Like they barely talk at all? We're known for being the chatterboxes of the group so it'd be real hilarious if our sparkling wasn't like that."

"Hmm… maybe it would be easier for them to forge bonds with others, especially since during my own upbringing most were driven away by my pleonasm."

"That means talking too much, right?"

"You are correct."

"Huh... I dunno, I like your talkativeness. It's how Zipper got their name anyway."

"Because for some reason out of all the things you couldn't recall- all those shopping lists, picking up Sari from her dates with Miko, when it was your turn for monitor duty- you specifically retained the details of my inane rant from when I first spoke to you," Blurr miffed.

"Ok to be fair it's not like I didn't remember monitor duty, I was _pretending_ I didn't. Also, I remember that rant 'cause it's the first time I got to hear your voice…"

"Yes, that may be one reason why, but you also wanted to name our sparkling 'Zippy' because you were determined to spite me for saying, 'I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy.'"

"I did that because I love you!"

"You did that because you are _annoying_... And because you love me."

"See! I was right in the end."

Blurr chuckled softly while shaking his head, "I suppose you were."

Blurr turned back to the sparkling in his hold with soft optics. Bee smiled at the sight.

"Hey, is there any chance you remember all the words from that rant? I kinda want to hear it again, for old times sake y'know?"

Blurr furrowed his brows slightly as he tilted his helm. "I believe I can…"

With a deep breath, he opened his mouth then and-

"First of all, the name's not 'Zippy'! As a matter of fact, I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy, so one can only assume that you came up with "Zippy" in reference to my speed, which may be technically accurate, but lacks a certain creativity!"

Bumblebee hid his grin under a servo while gesturing with the other to encourage him to keep going.

"More to the point, the name's Blurr! I'm an Autobot intelligence agent, sent to this planet by the Elite Guard to keep an eye on Optimus Prime and his crew as well as monitor the Decepticon activity, and you, my friend, have just blown a decacycle of covert surveillance designed to uncover Megatron's plot to conquer Cybertron. Everything was going according to plan when I intercepted a communication between the Decepticon leader and an unknown double agent! They were in the midst of plotting the abduction of an unsuspecting Autobot, which now, from the status of the current ground situation, appears to have been successful. Got that so far?"

"Could you- could you repeat the last part?" Bumblebee struggled to say between snickers.

Blurr couldn't help but smile. "Which last part?"

"Oh, everything after 'The name's not 'Zippy'!'"

And with that they couldn't surpress their giggles anymore. Blurr's helm fell back against Bee's shoulder as they softly laughed together.

"Wow, it's like I fell in love with you all over again, Blurr."

"Honeybee, I will be completely honest with you- I'm going to be sick from how sweet that was."

"Well, you don't call me Honeybee for nothing."

"A rare occasion, you've been correct two times in a row-"

But then a new voice joined the conversation.

"F… f…"

The two mechs shot their attention to the source, the small bot in Blurr's arms.

"Fi… fi…"

Bee, before he could even blink, suddenly found himself with Zipper in his servos as he heard clanging pedes race around the base.

He returned shortly after (emphasis on shortly) with a camera in his servo. He didn't bother sitting back down on the couch, instead opting to record the scene from behind it.

"Fi... first…"

The yellow bot chuckled, "Is their first word literally 'first'?"

Blurr shushed him.

"First… first….

"First of all, the name's not 'Zippy'! As a mattew of fact, i don't bewieve I've evew met anothew bot named Zippy, so one can onwy assume that you came up wif "Zippy" in refewence to my speed, which may be technicawwy accuwate, but wacks a cewtain cweativity!"

Zipper laughed and clapped their servos as their two parents were rendered speechless.

It continued to be that way as Zipper completed squeaking out the quotation, even filling in the parts Bumblebee chimed in.

After a few beats of silence, Bumblebee spoke up, "What the heck is up with this sparkling!?"

Blurr shut off the camera and shook his helm in disbelief.

"Thank goodness I recorded that, otherwise nobody would believe us. First they're able to repetitively run across the city before they could talk and then they're able to recite an entire monologue- one that has only just now been mentioned around them, mind you- as their first words? I know going about the untraditional way of having the protoform scan and combine our CNA, almost like how that Sari Sumdac was born, opened up the possibility of obtaining some abnormal traits, but I can't quite certainly say I had expected these ones."

"... Y'know I think I'll call Ratchet."

"Please do so as I am not in the current position to explain the situation in a clear and concise matter."

"Clear and concise mattew!" exclaimed the only bot in the room not freaking out.

…

"Huh. I was a weird kid."

"I strongly believe you still qualify as one, Zipper."

Zipper stuck their tongue out at their dad who could only smile in response.

"Hey! What're my two favorite bots talking about?"

They both turned around to see Bumblebee waltz into the base. He hopped onto the couch from behind, giving Blurr's helm a small kiss while he was at it.

"Dad just got done telling me what happened when I said my first words," Zipper replied.

"Slag, that was a weird one. Ratchet didn't know what to think about it."

Blurr chimed in, "If I recall, what he did say was, and I quote: 'Primus, it's like there's three of them.'"

Zipper started to fiddle with one of two horns on their head, "Like, I can memorize random facts about stuff pretty well, but I don't know if I can even manage to remember a block of text like that…"

Bee laughed. "Yeah, you can't even remember to clean your room."

"No Honeybee, it is, in actually, you who cannot remember to clean our room, for I am the one constantly reminding you to complete that task."

Bumblebee blew a raspberry at Blurr.

Zipper suddenly clapped their servos together in revelation. "OH! I might be able to recite some of that 'Zippy' rant."

The two parents gave their attention to Zipper as they began with an "ahem".

"First of all, the name's not 'Zippy'! As a matter of fact, I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy, so one can only assume that you came up with "Zippy" in reference to my speed, which may be technically accurate, but it lacks a certain creativity!"

Blurr shook his helm, "Almost- I did not say the 'it' in the last sentence."

"Darn, I was so close..." the youth whined.

Bumblebee pet their head as if he was ruffling non-existent hair. "It's ok champ, we don't really need two 'Blurr's here."

Blurr playfully shoved Bee in response.

Zipper smiled as they turned on the television in the room. "Guess you're right pops."

And now, as they curled up next to their family to watch some random cooking competition on the TV screen, they were content to just have a non-eventful rest of the day.

A good change of pace from the day they spoke their first words, as both parents would agree.

**Author's Note:**

> another request from oddcrafter!
> 
> I actually wrote this fic twice because the first time I went off & did my own thing, until I realized I did not actually write the key part of the request: write about Zipper's first words (in draft 1, baby zipper did not speak at all, so i REALLY missed the mark there)
> 
> But it's ok, I'm allowed to lack the capacity to think as my endearing character trait. I'm essentially a thembo but unattractive


End file.
